The time between engagement and marriage can be quite tricky and young couples can get into trouble. In our case, I proposed in December 1982 and we got married in March 1984. Part of the delay is I could not get married while still at West Point and part of the delay was we decided that Eileen should graduate from college prior to marriage. This created the opportunity for several additional adventures together as well as temptations.
The Three Temptations
Once a young lady is engaged, she wears a physical symbol (an engagement ring) that signals to others her commitment to a partner. Young men do not have such a physical symbol and we do get hit on by ladies unaware of commitment. From personal experience, even when the lady becomes aware of the commitment, they don’t care. They know what they want and are willing to compete fairly (or unfairly) for what they want. In my case, this resulted in three temptations between December 1982 and March 1984.
The first temptation involved a young lady who I would occasionally dance with at an off post dance club. She was aware I was engaged. I liked her as friend and dance partner. She wanted more. The last time we were together involved her asking me to step outside to spend some time in her car. I politely declined and lost a friend and dance partner.
The second temptation could have been a scene in Trace Adkin’s Swing video. Several of my male friends and I were in a Mexican tequila bar exploring the various tequila offerings. We were loud, happy, and slightly drunk. Just like the song:
She walked right up to me (here’s the pitch)
Said, could I take you home? (There is a drive)
(Could be)
Hey boys, I’ll see you later (it could be, it… it is!)
Goin’, goin’, goin’, goneTrace Adkins, lyrics of Swing song
She was tall, blonde, blue-eyed, pretty, determined and a little scared. She asked me to dance to the stunned amazement of the guys around me. I agreed and as soon as we started dancing, I figured out she was also pretty smart. As the song finished, she stated that it was too loud and could we continue the conversation at her house. She didn’t know I was engaged. I declined. She deflated and I never saw her again.
The third temptation involved a close friend who I treasure. She knew I was engaged but was in a very difficult situation with her current boyfriend. This was close to graduation and we were happily chatting in route to run together when she pushed me into a corner and kissed me passionately. There were many things I admired about her and I would have to add kissing to the list. Once the kiss ended, I acted as it nothing occurred and continued to chat. Although I am sure this sounds puzzling, it worked as intended. We maintained our close friendship without progressing beyond friendship. Eileen and I would later go with her and her boyfriend to Amelia Island to spend the weekend together.
Sorority Rush and Chuck E. Cheese
In August 1983, I received a call from a very hoarse Eileen. Eileen and her sorority sisters had just finished a weeklong Sorority Rush at the University of Georgia. They were tired of talking to female recruits and with rush before the start of the semester, they were interested in a different form of communication. She told me to grab as many MALE friends as I could and drive two hours to the Athens, Georgia Chuck E. Cheese. Her Delta Gamma sorority had rented out the entire restaurant and there would be 150 sorority sisters there in need of male conversation and attention. I grabbed four friends and we cramped into my car and made the drive to Athens.
The scene we walked into is hard to describe. It was a Chuck E. Cheese except there were no kids or adults – just 150 college girls in varying degrees of dress. Some were dancing on tables with Chuck E. Cheese employees either cheering them on or trying to get them off the tables. All of the games were being played by young ladies. The netted area with all those little balls was filled with college girls. There was alcohol everywhere. I settled in with Eileen and my new four best friends ever tried to handle the other 149 college girls.
We stayed until 2:30 in the morning, drove back to Augusta, GA, changed into our Army PT clothes, and I drove straight to 4:30 AM PT. I was fine as I was the driver and was with Eileen so I had not had much to drink. My four friends exfoliated the excess alcohol through their skin much to the dismay of the rest of the platoon as we ran four miles. After a quick shower and uniform change, it is time for a full day of class. Today, as bad luck would have it, would be the first day of logistics. We would learn how to fill out Army forms – block by excruciating block. It was time to balance the scales after a legendary wild night with Army logistics.
Animal House, Georgia -Florida Style
In November, 1983, Eileen called and asks if I would like to go to the Georgia-Florida football game with a bunch of her sorority sisters. This is a hard decision. One guy, lots of pretty ladies, alcohol, and football. What could go wrong?
In a scene straight out of Animal House, a van careens into the apartment parking. The side door opens and beer cans fall out everywhere. The seats have been pulled out of the van and replaced with cases of beer. This is going to be an epic Georgia-Florida game.
About 9 PM, we left Augusta, GA enroute to Saint Simons Island. We arrived at 4 AM. Please don’t ask me how we cramped a 2 1/2 hour trip into 7 hours but we did. As we arrived, Eileen and i headed to bed and all the other ladies headed to the beach because that is what you do at 4 AM.
We left Saint Simons Island at 7 AM still intoxicated for the tailgate. It was a joint tailgate site so there were tailgates in support of Georgia intermingled with tailgates in support of Florida. One of the nearby cars was supporting Florida and had a large alligator mache with huge exposed teeth. One of our companions put on her high heel shoes and walked on the car. That was fair play. What was not fair play is she pulled out one of the teeth. That almost led to a fist fight between one guy and a bunch of ladies and a bunch of guys. Somehow, we came to the joint decision that drinking together would be better than fighting against each other.
We went into the game at 3:30 PM still intoxicated and would slowly become sober during the course of the game. Now we did our best to delay this by smuggling whiskey into the stadium just like everyone else. It was an exciting game with Hershel Walker and my elementary school classmate Chris McCarthy having excellent games and Georgia winning in the 4th quarter.
We head back to Saint Simon’s Island and collapse into bed immediately. Miraculously, the drive back to August was only 2 1/2 hours the next day.
The Pottery of Marriage
As Eileen and I drew closer to our wedding, there were two rituals we participated in as a couple. The first was pre-marriage Catholic counseling. This is mandatory and today it can be completed online. Back in 1983, it could only be done in person in a group setting with a priest. Luckily, we drew Father Gerry Schreck, Eileen’s cousin. Not surprisingly given our long courtship, we had already discussed everything in the course. There is no course validation so we still had to attend all the meetings over a yearlong period. We were surprised at the topics that some couples had clearly not discussed and were foundational to a successful marriage.
The second ritual involved actual pottery. We decided that we would take a joint pottery class and make the ceramic couple that would sit on top of our wedding cake. Eileen also made a pretty oriental vase and I made a unicorn nicknac. After almost twenty moves all of the world, these three pottery pieces still exist.
Thankfully, this interlude between proposal, engagement, and marriage to Eileen comes to an end. It is time for a Royal Savannah Wedding to Eileen.